The Greatest Journey - Part 9

Days in Jeddah & The End of Journey..


After the farewell Tawaf, we rode back to Jeddah for 2 days haultage before returning back to our homes. We were done with the rituals of Hajj. It was time to relax and wait until we get back to our families (for those who left their wives, kids and other families back home).

It was a long bus ride from Makkah to Jeddah. We arrived in the city at night. Jeddah is a very modern city. For the first night we stayed at one hotel (I don’t recall the name now) and the next day moved into Westin Jeddah. One funny example may explain the differences between Makkah, Madina and Jeddah in terms of spirituality and diversity of population. When we were in Makkah hotel, the direction for Kabaah was shown on the ceiling by the picture of Kabaah and an arrow. We could see that even when we were lying down on our beds. In Madina, I was looking at the ceiling to find the direction, but it wasn’t there and we found it on the table. When we came to Jeddah, the direction was neither on the ceiling nor on the table. We looked around for several minutes, found nowhere. When one of us opened the Almira to put cloths in, we saw it there. We realized that Jeddah is open to population of any religion unlike Makkah, hence the sign is not needed to be placed on the ceiling.

There wasn’t any traditional mosque nearby our hotel, but there were reserved place inside the hotel campus for prayer. We would go down there for the Jamaat led by our Imam, brother Sulayman.

We heard that the hotel was near the ocean. So in the afternoon we wanted to come down and walk around a little bit. It was a beautiful day. The weather was so wonderful with mild cool breeze and warm sunshine, there were palm trees all around us inside the hotel campus. Laila apa, Mashuk, Amma, Fahim and I were together. After a few walk we saw the street and across the street there was the sea. The Red Sea! It was not in my expectation that we were so close to the Red Sea. We were there just before sunset. I had never seen sunset in the sea before that day. It was a majestic view! I was speechless with the beauty that Allah surrounded us with.

We prayed Maghrib in a nearby prayer area inside a shopping mall. Then came back to our hotel. At night I got terrible cold which lasted few weeks after we returned back to home.

During our stay in Jeddah, we got the sad news. My grandfather in law (Fahim’s Nanabhai) had passed away. Innalillahi Wainnailaihe Rajeun. It was a heartbreaking event for Amma. Allah gave us the opportunity to meet him before we left for our journey. Who knew it was the last time we were seeing him. May Allah give peace to his soul and grant him Jannah! Ameen.

It was time to get ready for our departure from the land of Saudi Arabia. We were waiting at the lobby of the hotel for the bus to Jeddah airport. It was such a wonderful and blessed journey that brought us all together. We didn’t know each other few days back, but who can tell that now? Above all, a great sense of accomplishment satisfies our hearts. At the end of our journey we looked forward to a new meaning of life with a new sense of purpose and obligations. May Allah accept our Hajj and bless the rest of our lives, and help us serve Him the way He wants us to serve. Ameen!

The End

The Greatest Journey - Part 8

Days in Madina and a sad news

We spent 5 days in Madina before Hajj. Unlike the rush, crowd, excitement, and noise in Makkah, the city of Madina presented herself as quiet, peaceful, tranquil, and relaxing place. We had a chance of preparing ourselves for Hajj by saving energy and concentrating on prayers in Masjid e Nabvi. Laila apa joined us as our roommate in Madina. So there were 4 of us in the hotel room – Tasfia apa, Laila apa, Amma and I. Full of good memories inside and outside the hotelroom. Tasfia apa and Amma grew a warm relationship. Laila apa and I were most of the time quiet, but we enjoyed the stories of Tasfia apa. She used to call Amma ‘Khalamma’.

Coincidentally Fahim and Tasfia apa’s husband were together in the another room. All the rooms had phones and we knew the internal numbers to reach our husbands. So most of the times in our room the phone would ring as either Tasfia apa’s husband or Fahim would call to inform us of any update from our travel agency, call for breakfast/dinner etc.

Like Makkah, the restaurant was inside the same hotel building and at some top level floor. We would catch the elevator to go up for breakfast and dinner. Lunch was not served which is a common package feature for most of the agencies.

Our hotel was ‘Elaf Taybah’ just across the Masjid E Nabvi. We would only cross the street to go for each prayer. As there was less rush, we could go inside the mosque several times and stay for long hours after prayer. One day after Fajr prayer, we were reading the Quran and doing dhikr, suddenly I realized a change of light inside the mosque, light was increasing, I looked up for the reason, and saw the domes of the mosque were opening, it was a fascinating sight. Usuallay some times of the day when sunlight is not much to trouble the pilgrims, the domes are opened. I could see the sunny sky up, it was beautiful.

Many times all four of us (Amma, Tasfia Apa, Laila Apa and I) would go together for prayer. Sometime three when Amma prayed inside the hotel. One such day Tasfia apa, Laila Apa and I were going for the Maghrib prayer. In Madina temperature is usullay cooler than Makkah. It is a flat land unlike Makkah’s hilly region. So cool breeze is always welcoming the pilgrims. We were there in the month of December, so we had to take light shawls at nighttimes. That day breeze was bit chilly and we were rushing as the Iqama was already started. We prayed with outside jamaat as inside was already full. Usually after prayer we stayed for some time to do supplications or dhikr. But that night Laila apa was not feeling well, she requested to go back after prayer. And as it was chilly, we also didn’t want to stay for long. So all of us returned at our hotel finishing the prayer; didn’t even stop at the roadside shops for window shopping which also was a common affair on our daily Madina routine.

We came back at out hotel. Laila apa and Tasfia apa went directly to the dinner and I came up to take Amma from our room. I saw Mashuk, Laila apa’s son was standing at the door and asked for her Mother. I informed him on her whereabouts and then went into the room. Then Amma and I went for dinner. When we came back, I saw Laila apa was crying holding Mashuk. We came to know that Laila apa’s Mother had passed away in Bangladesh. May Allah grant her Jannah and give peace to her soul. We came to know how pious women she was. It is always hard to hear this sad news from so far away, but it was consoling that she was in a holy place to make dua for her Mother.

The Greatest Journey - Part 7

The Days in Mina (Continued..)

Our stay in Mina brought the group closer than before. We had funny moments. In Mina we met sister Shamsun. She was in our tent close to our area. When I first saw her, I thought she was from some Middle Eastern country or elsewhere. The first thing I heard her saying is –‘where is my pillow’, ‘hello-where is my pillow?’ , ‘hello, I don’t have a pillow’. After sometime she was speaking to herself in some language other than English. I didn’t pay much attention at that time. At the end of the day I heard her talking to my mother in law. And she was speaking ‘Bengali’!! She was a pretty entertaining lady in that tent. We heard about her different kind of experiences in the journey.

Other funny moments were when the husbands wanted to call their wives, they screamed from outside of the tent by the full name of their wives or by Mrs. So and so (their own names). We couldn’t help laughing to hear those callings. Sometime the wife couldn’t hear it, and we had to scream inside the tent, it was funnier then.

At the time of meals, we had to stand up in a long line. It was always a buffet set up outside the tents. Usually women move slow which caused the men to be irritated easily when they were waiting long enough with a hungry stomach. At one point, one brother announced that next time there won’t be ‘ladies first rule’. Sounds funny now, but the situation was not that funny and got a bit serious.

Another issue in Mina was loosing sandals. Because we couldn’t bring sandals inside the tent, all the sandals remained at the doorway and it was very easy to take the wrong pair pf them when anyone got outside. It was such a common incident, that once when I was passing by the tents on my way back from ladies room, I heard this conversation in Bangla –
‘Why are you standing here brother?’ – One man asked another.
‘Watching out my sandal’ – was the response.
‘Why?’
‘Well after loosing it 3 times, you are asking me why?

I had the opportunity to throw stones at Jamaraat one time. The rest of the times Fahim had thrown on my behalf. But I wanted to do it at least once. Runa apa, Mary bhabi, Tasnim bhabi all were preparing to go together with their husbands. It was the day when we will be returning back from Mina. So it was my last chance. I told them to take me with them. As it is very easy to get lost in the crowd, so forming groups of 2 was the best way to keep husband wives together. Runa apa told me to go with them. So we formed the group of 2-2 and 3. I didn’t think that Jamaraat would be that close. And at that time of the day, the crowd also was not much. So it was easy for us. I would always remember the favor of Runa apa. She was always careful that I don’t get loose in the crowd. I could throw the stones and I must say, throwing the stones was really an exciting event in the whole Hajj. It is as if I am stoning the Satan for all his mischief. It is human nature to vent by putting blame on something else. In this case, venting is at its highest level. Thanks to Runa apa!

The Greatest Journey - Part 6

Days in Mina and the example of patience

We were waiting for our bus for about 2 hours. Today we would be leaving from Medina to Mina to begin our rituals of Hajj. There we would stay 3 nights. Having heard about so many challenges of staying in Mina from pilgrims of previous years, I was mentally prepared to sacrifice all the luxury we were having in Makkah and Medina. I heard bathroom is the most common area of concern, so I had been eating as much in moderation as possible to avoid any kind of food borne illness.

Finally at around 5 pm we were announced to get into the buses. We were not sure of how long it would take us, and also at that point I gave up my natural sense of timing. However, none of us expected the journey to be of almost 24 hours. Mina, the part of Hajj that I thought would be the least looked forward event, happened to be the most craved for place during our long and exhausting bus ride. I couldn’t wait to reach Mina and have some space to lie down.

We arrived in Mina next day around evening. Sun had set by then. Walking behind the groups through narrow passages between tents, we got into our designated area which was the USA camp. Within the camp, we found our tents guided by our female volunteers. To me, the place looked much more welcoming than I thought it would be. Big tent, full of sofa beds for each person, about 40 women accomodation (separate tents for male and female). We were advised to take minilmum luggage with us for Mina and after seeing the inside of the tent I realized why we were told so. There were hanging ropes to tie bags over our heads as hardly any space could be found around the sofa beds. Either we would use our bags as pillows or hang it up there. However, the facility we got was a luxury compared to any other tents for the rest of the world. Tents were air-conditioned and only few walk away from Jamarat.

The issue that I feared the most, bathrooms, seems to be better than I heard about. The numbers were sufficient for our tents and also cleaner than I expected. However, it is the timing that we had to be aware of before using them. I always chose times when usually the crowd was less so I had least trouble. Mina is a place where patience is needed most. I might not be a victim, but I saw incidents that led to quarrels, exchange of ill words, suspicion, and tears coming out of frustration around me.

Yet, I found somebody with the example of patience. I will introduce her shortly.

During our stay in Mina, we met so many other sisters from different parts of the world. We were about 40 in one tent. On my right, there was Amma (my mother in law) and on my left there was sister Rabia. An Indian lady probably in her mid 50s. I met her at Mina. She was in a different package but with the same travel agency. Their route was set to visit Jerusalem as well, so she could visit Masjid al Aksa. Allah gave her the gift of visiting the 3 sacred mosques at one journey.

As a ritual of Hajj, we would not be able to get out of our Ihram state until our sacrifice was made and the stones were thrown. Fahim would be throwing the stones on behalf of me and Amma as it was risky for female and older people on the 10th of Dhul Hijjah. Based on other pilgrim’s experiences in past years, I thought it would take Fahim the whole day to complete those rituals and so I was prepared to lengthen my Ihram state. Ihram started on 8th of Dhul Hijjah and it’s not easy to avoid combing hair by mistake. After we returned from Arafat, we were waiting inside the Mina. Fortunately Fahim could finish all the stoning before even we reached Mina from Arafat. He was in different bus on our way back. So we came to know about the completion of rituals and both Amma and I got out of our Ihram by cutting small portion of our hairs. Allah made it very easy on us.

The next day while we were relaxing inside Mina after lunch, I heard that sister Rabia was still in Ihram. I asked her with surprise why she would be in Ihram for so long? She said her husband wanted to slaughter the animal himself and he couldn’t do that yet. So she is waiting for him to do so and then only she could come out of Ihram. Then she said something in such a way that I will never forget –
‘And that’s ok. I am in no rush.’
The words are simple and it is hard to comprehend the depth of it unless someone knows how it feels to be in an Ihram state for 3-4 days in Mina. I was moved by her patience and simplicity. She was one of the simplest person I ever met.

The Greatest Journey - Part 5

Meeting Ayesha


During our stay in Makkah, I preferred go to with small group for attending Jamaat at Masjid al Haram. Usually it would be me, Amma, Fahim, Tasfia apa and Laila apa. But in some occasions Fahim and I went together while Amma and Laila apa prayed inside the hotelroom in the same jamaat and Tasfia apa would go with her husband. Others in our group formed groups of their preference, mostly based on the groupings in each room.

It was one such day when Fahim and I were attending the jamaat while others were either at hotel or went separately. In those cases, after the Adhan, I would move to the nearest line of female pilgrims. I would find sisters from different corners of the world next to me. I liked those moments as it would break the barrier of cultural differences giving a sense of unity and sisterhood. Those were the moments when I repeatedly realized the significance of the wonderful greetings Allah gifted us – ‘Salaam’. As soon as I greet the next person with salaam, I would see the most beautiful smile and a kind response ‘Walaikum Assalaam’. Doesn’t require me to understand their language and vice versa. Those two words are sufficient enough to create instant bond and hearts filled with love.
So, there I was, trying to find the nearest female groups and clearing my way towards the direction. Ok, found some space near a sister whose appearance told me they were from any part of the great African nation. She looked young, close to my age. The group seem to be unlike us, not lavished with goodie bags. The sandals they were wearing spoke about their struggling condition. She didn’t have any prayer mat which we usually used to take with us at times of prayers. My experience thus far was limited with those two words as about 99% of the time the sister next to me wouldn’t speak English. So, I was prepared to give salaam and then to start dhikr as usual.
I turned to her with a smile and said ‘ Assalamualaikum’. She responded – ‘Walaikum Assalaam’ and returned back a smile. Ok, now I would focus on my dua and other routine things.
‘What’s your name?’ – to my utmost surprise I heard this question from my right.
‘Sadia, and yours?’ – I asked.
‘Ayesha. Where are you from?’ she inquired again.
‘USA’. The obvious second question from me would be asking her where she is from. But I thought, it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t need to know where she is from. She is a Muslim sister of mine which matters and we are here with the same purpose. What else I need to know!
But she was a bit inquisitive and asked ‘You have kids?’
‘No. Do you?
‘Yes’. Then she told about her kids which I don’t clearly remember now. But I remember that she left her kids back home.
Others from her group were staring at me. Not sure whether they spoke English or not. Usually most people I met were not quite comfortable breaking the cultural gaps. She was exceptional in the group with no doubt.
During these conversations, we heard the Muazzin beginning calling for Asr prayer.
After prayer we just went apart on our separate direction.



One day before we left Makkah

It was the time for Maghrib. We rushed to the Masjid area and found rarely any place after crossing our hotel stairs. This time Tasfia apa, Laila apa and Amma we all were together. We had to manage just enough space for us before the stairs. Waiting for the Muazzin. People were still coming and trying to clear up space. All kinds of languages from around us. Among those unfamiliar words, I suddenly heard my name. I looked around. Couldn’t see her at first. Then I heard my name again. This time right in front of me. I looked up. ‘Ayesha!!’ She was quickly passing to reserve the area which she found- just before the Adhan. Even in that rush, she saw me, remembered my name, and courteous enough to call me and give salaam. I could just say ‘Walaikum Assalaam.’ She went by.

After prayer, I asked myself ‘what is the probability of seeing a person 2nd time in this crowd of about 2.5 million?’ I didn’t know where she and her group were staying, but it was certain that not in any of the hotels that are nearby the Kabah. Yet, we passed by each other – only by the decree of Allah.

The Greatest Journey - Part 4

My last 3 episodes demonstrated the spiritual aspects of Hajj. However Hajj comprises of many other kind of experiences as well. Patience, joy, sorrow, fun, adventure, bonding, surprise and the list goes on. In the coming episodes, I will try to recollect some of those precious memories from the cherished voyage. It will be like glimpse of scenarios.

Moment of Surprise # 1:
We were at the Jeddah airport. After the long exhausting journey, we were finally in the land of Saudi Arab. Our test of patience had started even before we started our journey on the plane and now it seemed to be in the peak (although it was nothing as the whole journey had more tests in front of us). It was just the beginning I should say. We were kind of stranded at the airport. Waiting for guides from our tour package to come and lead us to our destination. Only two things in our mind ‘when are we going to reach a place to rest’? ‘When are we getting some food to eat?’.

Allah gave us a food that we usually long for in Delaware. Halal Fried Chicken! I would never imagine in my dream that the first food we will get in the land of Saudi Arab is Fried Chicken. That was a surprise for me. It was more than sufficient after being starved for quite long hours. It was warm, very tasty and to me the best food we could get at that moment.

Moment of Surprise # 2:
Tasfia apa is our roommate! Our names were together in the random sampling. She is the first person we got very familiar with in the Dulles airport. She as well as we were very happy. It was just the beginning of the bonding.

Moment of Surprise # 3:
We are in Makkah Hilton! A 5 star Hotel!! Few steps away from Kabah. The room and amenities made me think twice whether we are in Makkah for Hajj, or in Cancun for vacation!

Moment of Surprise # 4:
The dinner buffet at the top of the Hotel! All the foods! The view of Kabah area from window was uncomfortable as we were having all those luxury foods while people from the streets were eating we don’t know what! I could never sit by the window and look at them.

The Greatest Journey - Part 3

The Moment of Fear

Inside Mina Tent
Friday, December 31, 2006
9th of Dhul Hijjah, 1427
After Fajr Prayer

We were getting ready. Getting ready for the most significant part of our Journey. Getting ready to make our Journey a success. Getting ready to ask for forgiveness from the Almighty. We were getting ready for Hajj!

Yes, it was 9th of Dhul Hijjah, The Day of Arafat, about which Rasul of Allah (SAS) said: “Hajj is Arafat”. The day was December 31, 2006. This is the only date I remember correctly for a very special reason, I will explain later why.

Everyone inside the tent was excited to start their ride on the bus to Arafat. As soon as we heard the ‘ok’ from our guides, we came out from the tents and saw all the buses lined up. All for the same reason, for the same destination, with the same excitement.

We got in our designated bus. Gentle cool breeze welcomed us as we were getting in. Sun had not peeped through the clouds. As usual I was looking around through the window; people with freshness of dawn on their faces were coming out of the tents for their buses. No one wants to delay this voyage.

The distance between Arafat and Mina is about 9 miles. However, due to traffic it could take us 2 -4 hours. Therefore, many of the tour packages arrange this travel to start right after Fajr so that pilgrims can reach Arafat by noon before Dhuhr prayer.

Our bus started moving. After couple of turns when it came down to the main highway, one of the guides led the Talbiya so every one started reciting with him – ‘Labbayek Allahumma Labbayek. Labbayek Laa Shaari Kalaka Labbayek. Innal Hamda. Way`nna Ma`ta. Laka Wal Mulk. Laa Shaari Kalaak.’ [ ‘O my Lord, here I am at Your service. Here I am. There is no partner with You. Here I am. Truly, the praise and the provisions are Yours, and so is the dominion and sovereignty. There is no partner with You.’] When I was a child, my Dadabhai and Dida (Grand Father and Grand Mother) always watched the live telecast of Hajj from Saudi Arabia. We all used to sit together to watch this day of Arafat. I had heard this Talbiya so many hundred times while I was growing up, that like any other kid who memorizes whatever rhythmic gets into their ears, I had them memorized. So before we were preparing ourselves for Hajj, this Talbiya was the easiest one for me as I didn’t have to memorize again. Allah has His own Big Plans of preparing ourselves for days, times, or moments, only we know not.

I don’t exactly remember after how long, I started seeing hills and plain fields. Sun was up with its majestic morning light. Voices of the people reciting Talbiya got slower and softer by then. I looked on my left through the window. I was trying to find Mount of Rahmah on which pilgrims thrive to be on. Every time I saw hill with people on it, I thought that might be the one. However almost all the small mountains had a good number of pilgrims so it was hard to identify the right one. Suddenly our guide told something and I saw people turning their heads to the left. I turned too and it was no mistake that time. I saw the mountain covered with white. White due to the crowd in Ihram. This is the mountain on which our beloved Prophet gave his final sermon. Although it was far from the street where we were passing by, no vision could miss the sight.

It was another 15 – 20 minutes drive before our bus finally reached its halt. Until then the perception of Arafat to me was – sun over the head, umbrellas or no shade, heat, standing, few amenities of life, light traveling, very little food, the day busy with dhikr and Quran recitation, supplication etc. Those were how I saw Arafat in TV during my childhood. To my utmost surprise, as our bus stopped, my eyes caught a big tent through which red embroidered carpet was visible. Sofas were kept outside the tents. I couldn’t help asking my husband, ‘Is this the place we are supposed to be in? Really?’

Well, during the whole Hajj experience, I got used to with the idea of ‘expect the unexpected’. But still the amenities I saw in Arafat were the biggest surprise to me throughout the journey. I had to keep reminding myself ‘we are here not for picnic but to ask Allah’s forgiveness and for repentance’. The breakfast box that we were given was more than enough to serve the purpose of breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yet a feast was waiting for us during lunch time. I should mention here that the facilities and amenities varies based on Travel Packages.

Anyhow, we got into our designated tents. Women and men in separate tents like Mina. The sizes of the tents were quite similar to Mina and with Air-conditioning. More space as there were no bedding arrangements and luggage. As Arafat is a desert plain, there was sand under the carpet. As usual we were in the tent where all the Bangladeshi & Pakistani women from our group joined. The Arab and from other countries went into the other tent. At that time all we knew was there would be the sermon from Masjid e Namira which we would listen before Dhuhr prayer. Then Dhuhr and Asr prayer would be combined and prayed in Jamaat. After that and after lunch people would perform dhikr, or any way of worship as they want. Then in the afternoon everyone would come out for the congregassional supplication led by an Imam until Sunset. After sunset we would leave for Muzdalifah.

To me, it was ‘the day of a lifetime, too short and will pass very soon, how to get the most out of it?’ Thinking about this I was a bit anxious as to how I should start the day. There wasn’t really a guideline that I came across from any source on that particular situation. Honestly after seeing all the luxury, hearing worldly conversations around me etc., made me a little distracted and I had to work on redirecting my focus. I decided to start by doing dhikr as they came along in my mind. At one point, it was hard enough to avoid the distractions from the conversations so I left our tent and moved into the other tent where the Arabic speaking women were sitting. It was quite a different environment. Most of them were busy reading Quran or other kind of prayers. Even if some were talking, it wasn’t distracting for me as I wouldn’t know what they were talking about. So I got a sigh of relief.

Before Dhuhr we all joined in one tent for women to hear the sermon from Masjid e Namira. I would believe it was broadcasted through sound system in every group tent.
Then at Dhuhr time we joined for the Jamaat inside the same tent. I forgot to mention earlier that our Arafat day coincided with Friday which is not so common event to occur. It was said to be ‘Akbari Hajj’. Due to lack of authentic source, I will skip explaining this term. We prayed Dhuhr and Asr together at the same congregassaion as part of Hajj ritual.

Then I came back to our tent for sometime. Lunch was served. It was a pure Arabic dish with big leg of Lamb Roast with Polao served in one giant stainless steel serving plate for all the people in one tent. Everyone would take in separate disposable plates. I was hearing that when it is Akbari Hajj, the Saudi King used to provide the lunch for all the pilgrims. But I wasn’t sure if in our case it was done or if in present time they do that.

After lunch I continued my dhikr inside the tent. As the time was passing by my heart was becoming restless with the thought that time is running out, need to do more, more and more. I would not get back this day ever in my life. I wanted to get out of the tent where some ladies were standing and making supplications. Even though the space was not adequate for many and due to the privacy issue, I was at first reluctant. Then I decided to go out. I found my Nanu (my Grandmother’s cousin and a very close relative. She was also in the same package but with a different group) there. She was also in our tent but decided to make supplication privately so went out before I did. I stood near her during my supplication. Even though we were among hundreds of people, a sense of loneliness touched me at that time. It was as if there were none except my Creator and I. I am sure I was not the only one feeling that way. I looked at my Nanu and without any doubt I could tell she was missing Nana at that time and supplicating for him. Nanu became widow few years back. Nana was one of the greatest men in our family - a very soft spoken, caring and gentle person. May Allah bestow His Mercy on him and grant him Jannah.

As the time approached toward afternoon, I was being more anxious about running out of time. Also a strange feeling of restlessness and loneliness captured me. I came out and started looking around for my husband. There were men and women outside. When I found him we went together to make a joint supplication at an open yet private space. It was of big help to ease the burden on my heart. I felt much better. At the end of the supplication I heard crying around us and saw familiar faces from our group supplicating privately. It was such a heart softening sight. May Allah accept all our wishes.

Finally we got calls to come out of the tents and stand for the congregassional supplication. I had no idea what I was going to experience before it started. The Imam began his supplication – in Arabic. As soon as he started calling the most gracious names of Allah Subahanallah Taala, I got shiver in my body. My heart trembled with Fear, unlike any FEAR I felt before. I closed my eyes. I couldn’t think of anything except for the thought of being stood in front of the Almighty. As if it was the day of Judgement. As if I am hearing Allah asking me “I Created you – what did you do with your life???’’ My eyes were closed with runny drops of water. I was trembling. I didn’t know Arabic. Yet, I felt that I understood everything the Imam was saying. Asking for Mercy! Mercy! and Mercy! Repenting for the days we passed so carelessly! Sins that we committed knowingly and unknowingly! Oh Allah! Except for Your Mercy, there is no Mercy! Oh Allah conceal our sins on the day of Judgement! How many years we have passed without thinking about You! Oh Allah! Forgive us. Oh Allah! Forgive your servants! Oh Allah! I seek refuge from the Fire! Oh Allah! Protect us from being the fuel of the Fire!.Oh Allah! Accept our repentance and make us like a newborn! Without Your Mercy, there is no Mercy! Ya Gafurur Raheem! You brought us here today on this plain of Arafat! Please Forgive us! Please forgive our Brothers and Sisters! Please forgive our parents who passed away! We worship none but You! Please accept our repentance! .. ………………………………………………………………............................



I was trembling….with Fear!


The supplication approached to its end. A gentle evening breeze hugged us. I felt my body became very light. Inside my heart I felt peace. The emotion of Fear turned into a sense of tranquility. I heard two words around me - ‘Hajj Mubarak’. Fellow pilgrims were greeting each other. Congratulating on completion of the biggest ritual of Hajj. Sun had set. We came inside our tent and hugged each other. It was time to wait patiently for the call to leave for Muzdalifah.




Monday, December 31, 2007. 1:17 AM.

Exactly one year after the day of Arafat. Allah gave us a very special gift. Our son, our first child, – Nawid was born. We named him Nawid as a sign of Allah’s Mercy. Nawid means – ‘Glad Tidings’ or ‘Good News’.

The Greatest Journey - Part 2

Madina
2nd day after arrival
After Fajr prayer


It was the 2nd day after we arrived in Madina. The first thing in our to do list was to visit the Rawza  (where our beloved Prophet’s body was buried) and sending salaam to Rasulullah (SAW). Like visiting the Kabaah, it is also a craved for sight for every Muslim who lands on the holy city of Madina.

For men, the rawza is open any time of the day. But for women, there is a brief period of time after Fajr so the crowd at that time is tremendous. I have heard so much about the crowd from other pilgrims who have visited before, so I tried to keep my expectation low to avoid disappointment. As usual I, Amma ( my mother in law), Tasfia apa, and Laila apa (our roommates) went together for Fajr prayer. After that as decided before, we formed groups of two me-Amma, and Tasfia apa-Laila apa to start our walk toward the rawza. We didn’t know exactly where it was. So Tasfia apa used her people skill to find out the place and we followed based on the direction we got. It was a slow walk due to the crowd. We had to come out from inside the mosque and then turned on our right to go towards the rawza. Finally we found the place where the women are being lined up by the volunteers. Honestly I didn’t expect this event to be as organized as I saw. Volunteers (in niqab) are holding banners high to guide the crowd based on the language spoken. We had to squeeze ourselves in the line of South Africa as it was the only visible line for English speaking countries.

The line moved like turtle. One stop to another stop. It had been almost an hour. Volunteers were screaming on the top of their voice to discipline the crowd. The analogy may not be appropriate here, but at one point I was feeling like being on the Titanic when it was drowning. Women were rushing to move forward and being scolded and screamed at by the female guards. Some moments were so chaotic that I was about to get frustrated. On my right I heard a voice telling another to look at the gold on the pillars. I didn’t know what to say! People indeed have varying interests.

Finally we arrived somewhere which seemed to be close to our longed for destination. I could hear over the noise ‘and that was where Fatima (RA) had her house….that was the mimbar…’ I could not see where she was pointing to, but I got shiver. I was holding Amma’s hand and told her that we were close to the place. We would wave our hands towards the Prophet's resting place and send our Salaam. Before we do that I wanted to make sure I am in the right place. Several times we thought ‘this is it’ but it wasn’t. So when I saw women stopped and started crying, I figured now we are here. But I felt myself pulled out from all possible direction. I kept holding Amma’s hand tight so that she doesn’t get apart. It would be a split of a sec to get lost in that crowd. I could just tell her that ‘now its time to send Salaam’. We turned on our left, saw the green gates, waved our hands and said ‘Assalaamualaika Ya Rasul Allah’ …’Assalaamualaika Ya Abu Bakr’, …’Assalamualaika Ya Umar’…there was no way we could say more…or at least I couldn't..I was being pushed away from the place..it was hard to be on foot to balance the body if one falls on the ground, noone would stop and would walk over the body. So I tried hard to balance myself. We couldn’t even pray on the green marked space ‘a piece of Jannah’.

Amma and I could manage ourselves to get out of that crowd to the exit. I was calm by then. Walking slowly towards the exit. Suddenly I didn’t know what happened. I felt a sudden gush of tears coming out. It was like my heart just broke. I wasn’t prepared for that emotion. I cried and cried. I then thought about the incident of Taif where our Prophet was being toutured in the worst way from the street people. I couldn’t stop crying. I don’t know how to put it or describe it. I put it as a moment of Love and Sorrow. When you love someone so much that you cry to see him/her in pain, it was such an emotion. It came out of nowhere. Later I felt so much grateful to Allah for having such emotion, because it is also from the Almighty that I felt that way. It is strange when I say it, but it was real an strong.

While coming out, I found out it was not only me. The crying was all around. If that were us after 1427 years, what about those who saw in their own eyes the struggle and pain of Rasul Allah (SAS), how they had expressed their emotions?

May Allah give us strength so that we can follow the Sunnah that Rasul of Allah wanted us to follow. May Allah pour His Mercy on us so that we can be the Ummah that Rasul of Allah wanted. May Allah bless us with His Mercy so that we are raised among those who will be in the first rows on the Day of Judgement close to Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wassallaam. Ameen.

The Greatest Journey – part 1

Makkah, Right after Fajr Prayer

The bus slowed down. There are lights all around us even though it’s about 5 o’clock in the morning. The sky above us still pitch dark. We have been longing for this moment. We are here, few yards from the Masjid al Haram. The place where billions of people are craving to visit each year. We are here at Makkah.

I looked outside through the window. I wanted to say something, but couldn’t find any word. I heard the emotional voice of Brother Sulayman saying ‘Look at this crowd brothers and sisters, look at this crowd. Reflect on the crowd, this is the Ummah of Muhammad (SAS). On the day of judgment people will be running like this, billions and billions of people, the difference is they will only be thinking about themselves and nothing else unlike now.’
I looked again on the other side. Thousands of people are coming out from the Masjid al Haram after Fajr prayer. I read about ocean of people, now realized what it means. Men and women dressed in white mostly from different parts of the world. Walking slowly with such a peace on their face.
There is no way the bus can move forward. We are patiently waiting inside the bus for the crowd to be part. It’s like never ending. I was amazed by the sight. People are stopping at the street side shops to have their first cup of tea. Some already started to look around for clothing, shoes and other necessities.

Finally the bus started crawling again and stopped somewhere closer to our hotel.
We will be taking rest the whole day after the long and exhaustive journey and will join at the lobby together after Isha before starting the first ritual of this Journey – Umrah. It will be the time I will be first seeing the Kabaah – a dream that I never imagined to come true so early.



Approximately 10:30 pm

The group came down to the lobby to hear the instructions from brother Sulayman, our Imam. After all the detailed direction of performing Tawaf & Sai’, we started our walk. The hotel was very close to the Masjid. Only few yards. Husbands and wives formed groups of two holding each other's hands so that at least they don’t get separated in the crowd. For those who need wheel chairs would go with separate arrangement.
My husband and I came down on the street with the rest of the group. My heart started beating faster with every step of walking. Mind is getting more focused in each second. In few minutes I couldn’t see any of our group members anymore. Labbayek Allahumma Labbayek, Labbayek La Shari kala ka Labbayek. Innal Hamda, Wa Innna Maa’ta. Laka wal Mulk. Laa Shari Kalak. This is all I could hear around me with the recitation of my own voice.
We came closer to the gate. We started barefoot so didn’t have to stop for taking off our shoes. I felt like my heart will be coming out as it was beating so fast. I was keeping my eyes as protected as possible as I didn’t want to suddenly caught Kabaah in my sight and be speechless without making any Dua. I was told from numerous source that any Dua we make while seeing the Kaabah for the first time, will be granted. I didn’t want to miss this biggest opportunity at any cost. I had been keeping my eyes off the view since I was on the airplane. So here comes the moment.
I told Fahim to first find the corner from where the Tawaf starts and then I will turn my eyes. We found it. Now is the time to face toward the Kabah in front of me.

It was on my left. I turned my eyes. For few seconds I felt that time has frozen. I got a shiver in my body and felt tears coming out from my eyes. In a split second I had a flashback of few moments of my childhood – playing in the house where I grew up. Then my mind came back to the present and told me where I am. It’s like Allah telling me ‘that is where you were, and I brought you here today’. If I try to put the moment in words, I would say – It was the moment of Truth. The truth that Allah created us. The truth that we will be returning to Him. The truth that there is a place called Jannah and also a place called Jahannam. The truth that there will be a day of judgement. The truth that I don’t crave for anything but Jannah. The truth that Allah is seeing me. The truth that Allah is hearing me. It was so powerful a moment – I cannot describe anymore.

I was hearing crying all around me. The emotion is hard to describe. When we cry, we think about some sad incident, or feel sorrow or may be joy, and then we reflect on it and tear comes out. But sighting of Kabah, I couldn’t put it in any category. Tears came out before any reflection. I could feel the same emotion around me.

I made the Dua that I wanted to make. Then we started moving into the crowd for Tawaf.